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Oil for the Lamps of Hogan
Regular Prisoners * Colonel Hogan - Bob Crane * Corporal Louis LeBeau - Robert Clary * Corporal Peter Newkirk - Richard Dawson * Sergeant James Kinchloe - Ivan Dixon * Sergeant Andrew Carter - Larry Hovis Camp Personnel * Kommandant Wilhelm Klink - Werner Klemperer * Sergeant Hans Schultz - John Banner Semi-Regulars * Fraulein Helga - Cynthia Lynn * Corporal Karl Langenscheidt - Jon Cedar * General Albert Burkhalter - Leon Askin Guest Stars * Fritz Bowman - William Mims Synopsis The episode begins with the prisoners standing at formation, as a vehicle enters Stalag 13. As the prisoners ponder who is inside the vehicle, a smiling Colonel Klink welcomes to the camp General Burkhalter and Fritz Bowman of IG Bowman Industries. As the trio converse, Colonel Hogan tells LeBeau to go to listening post three and get information on that Kraut, meaning Bowman. Later, inside Klink's office, as several prisoners clean up the office while they are being watched by Corporal Langenscheidt, a fake altercation occurs between Kinch, Newkirk and Carter, which distracts Langenscheidt long enough for LeBeau to get into the safe. Once LeBeau was safely inside, the altercation ends and Newkirk starts apologizing for causing trouble, just seconds before Schultz enters the room. After the other prisoners have also apologize, Schultz makes a head count, and after giving some advice to Langenscheidt on how to be tough with the prisoners, the prisoners are marched out of the room, quickly followed by the two German soldiers. As they leave, Klink enters his office, telling Helga that he and his guests were not to be disturbed. After Helga leaves, Burkhalter and Bowman tells Klink why they were at the stalag: they plan to turn it into a synthetic fuel plant, on the assumption that the Allies would never bomb a POW camp, while they would build a new Stalag 13 elsewhere. Klink isn't so sure about Burkhalter's assumption but makes no more objections once he'd told that it was the general's idea. Burkhalter then informs Klink that the prisoners would be moved once the new stalag was ready, and then asks him how soon it would take. After Klink replies that he would have the information for him soon, Burkhalter tells him that he and Bowman would be back in a few days to look over the grounds. The trio then leaves the room. A short time later, Kinch, Cater and Newkirk are back in the room, and pulls an almost exhausted LeBeau, who had been suffocating inside the safe during the conversation, out of the safe. After they give the Frenchman something to drink, they leave Klink's office with the information. As the prisoners sit around a table in Hogan's office, they are shocked by LeBeau's information, since they're moving to another location would disrupt their entire operation. After getting over the initial shock, Hogan suggests that they find some way to get the fuel plant built elsewhere, as well as having London told about what was going on. Before they could start, Schultz comes in, informing Hogan that Klink wanted to see him in his office. After Schultz leaves, Hogan decides to start delaying Burkhalter and Bowman's plan by getting through to Klink's heart, after he tells Carter to get Klink's picture from the delousing station. Inside Klink's office, Klink informs Hogan about the move, which is to occur in three days. After ignoring Hogan's comment that it would be hard to move in such a short time, Klink is surprised to hear Hogan ask him for his autograph, claiming that it was for his men. He was even more surprised when Hogan tells him why they wanted the autograph: They think (or rather, Hogan claims) that Klink would be heading back into combat after the move to the new stalag had been completed. Klink, as he takes the bait, gets nervous about his future, as Hogan makes him think that Burkhalter has something else in mind for the camp, especially after he refuses to answer Hogan's questions about the move. Hogan quickly suggests that Klink tries to stall, although Klink doubt that he could actually get Burkhalter to change his mind. Later, Hogan, Newkirk and Kinch, with the later two pushing a dolly that contains an empty oil drum, shows up at the camp's oil storage facility which was being guarded by Schultz. As Hogan talks with Schultz, claiming that they were returning the empty drum, Newkirk and Kinch replaces the empty drum with one that was filled with oil. The trio then leaves with the filled drum, as Schultz thinks he had told them to leave with the original, empty drum. That night, LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk appear through a hole that was placed just under a water tower, right in front of Schultz. The trio, in spite of Schultz wanting them to go back to the barracks, make enough noise so that they were noticed by the other guards. Schultz then "captures" the "escaping" trio. A short time later, Klink is interrogating the trio inside his office, in front of Hogan and Schultz. Klink sends the trio to the cooler for 30 days, a sentence that was to begin once General Burkhalter was gone. But, before they were to leave his office, Klink notices the dirt on Carter's face, then asks him to see his hands, noticing that they were covered in oil. Carter then tells Klink that there was oil under the camp, which was the main reason why their tunnel had come up under the tower. Klink dismisses the trio and then speaks with Hogan. Hogan tells Klink, as he takes a cigar, that an American lieutenant, who was trained as both a engineer and a geologist had found it before he had been transferred to another camp, and that Hogan had planned to keep it a secret until after the war when he would cheaply buy the camp, put in a few oil wells and start drilling. After Klink claims that Hogan was being greedy and selfish, Hogan replied that there was enough oil for ten millionaires. Upon hearing that, Klink suggests that the two should go into business as partners, while saying that he would finally have money to go with his 500-year old aristocratic family name. Hogan quickly reminds Klink about the synthetic fuel plant that would be built, as it would lead to the discovery of the oil field. When Klink asks what they should do, Hogan has a suggestion: bring Burkhalter in on the deal. Klink then goes to his bedroom, where he wakes up Burkhalter, and tells him about what Hogan had told him about the oil field under the camp. Burkhalter, who also falls for Hogan's tale, comments about whether drilling should be done now, or after the water, claiming that drilling now would upset the German war effort, since the Third Reich had already invested in synthetic oil. When Klink asks about Bowman, Burkhalter says that he would have a talk with him. Upon being told that the name of the future oil company would be the Burkhalter, Klink and Hogan Oil Company, Burkhalter suggests that they drop Hogan. The next day, Bowman refuses to have the plant built elsewhere, countering Klink's comments about the distance to the nearest railroad station and that there was no nearby airfield by saying that tracks could be laid towards the camp and an airfield could be built. He then counters Burkhalter's attempt to involve the Fuhrer by suggesting that they give him both of their proposals and let him decide. Burkhalter then suggests that they look over the grounds again while Klink tells Helga to tell Schultz to bring in Hogan. Inside Barracks 2, the prisoners think that Hogan's plan has failed since Bowman was not giving in. At that moment, Hogan has another idea: they would contact London and asks for a fake bombing raid of the camp for the next day, while the planes would drop leaflets. Meanwhile, the prisoners would set up some dynamite charges that would be set to go off during the fake air raid. Hogan then tells Kinch what he wants London to put on the leaflets. Allied bombers are then shown leaving England. During the evening roll call, Hogan is talking with Klink as the later hopes that Burkhalter is able to convince Bowman to change his mind. After telling him that Burkhalter should be able to, Klink is still worried. Hogan then looks at his watch, and after making another comment, the air raid sirens go off, followed by some explosions (the dynamite charges). After Klink tells Burkhalter and then Burkhalter tells Bowman that the idea of the Allies not bombing a POW camp have just proven wrong, Klink orders Schultz to put the prisoners back into the barracks. At this point, the leaflets start falling into the camp. Klink picks one up and reads it, seeing that it claims that the raid was only a warning of what would happen when the plant itself was built. Burkhalter, upon seeing the leaflet, realizes that security had been breached and therefore, building the plant there was no longer feasible. Bowman agrees, but then asks how the Allies could've found out about the plant. Klink tries to place the blame on Hogan, which is rejected since neither Burkhalter or Bowman could believe that a POW could alert London of their plans. At the end of the episode, Hogan and Klink are standing on the porch of the Kommandant's building, with Klink telling Hogan that he had found out about his ruse with the oil drum, showing him the evidence. Hogan replies that he did it for Klink's benefit, to keep him from going to the Russian Front. But, when he brought up the fact that Burkhalter still believes that there was oil under the camp, Hogan tells him that Burkhalter wouldn't do anything until after the war, and since the Germans were going to lose, he would simply go back into the woodwork. When Klink asks him what if the Germans were the winners, Hogan didn't think it would be possible, since the Germans needed oil. A frustrated Klink realizes that Hogan was right. Story Notes * This is the eighteenth produced episode of the series, but is the fourteenth one to be shown on television. * Klink's safe make its first appearance in this episode. * The bulletin board appears in this episode. Quotes As the prisoners watch Colonel Klink speak to General Burkhalter and Fritz Bowman. * Lebeau: He's got a beautiful fur collar. * Hogan: I've got a sudden attack of curiosity. LeBeau, take up listening post number three. See what you can find out about that Kraut. * LeBeau: Right, Colonel. * Hogan: Uh, be careful, the collar may still be alive. --------------- After Schultz has finished making a count of the prisoners inside Klink's office, not knowing that LeBeau had already entered the safe. * Schultz: Quiet! (Starts counting) One, two, three. (Stops to think) Count is right. * Carter: Look at Schultz. He can count to three! * Newkirk: He's brillant! * Kinchloe: Night school paying off, huh, Schultz? * Schultz: Ha, ha. Night school paying off. Ha, jolly jokers. Raus, bitte! Right face! A forward march! A one, two, three, four. A one, two, three, four. --------------- After Carter, Kinch and Newkirk gets LeBeau out of the safe... * LeBeau: Quick, a glass of wine! I'm fainted! * Kinchloe: Snap out of it, Louis! LeBeau: Make it Burgundy! It was 95 degrees! Kinch grabs a bottle and gives it to LeBeau, who starts drinking... * Carter: You know what? I bet he's got claustrophobia! * LeBeau (Looks at Carter, panting ): Now you tell me? --------------- As Hogan is trying to convince Klink that General Burkhalter might be up to something, Helga tells Klink that Burkhalter wants to see him... * Burkhalter: At ease, gentlemen. You have told Hogan the news? * Klink: We were just discussing it sir! * Burkhalter: Never mind the discussion. I want action. How soon will you be ready? * Hogan: We were just trying to determine that sir. I’d like some more information about this new Stalag 13. * Burkhalter: You will find out soon enough. * Hogan: I want to find out which LuftStalag we will be sent to temporarily. * Burkhalter: That has not been determined. * Hogan: Will my men be protected from the civilian population during the move? * Burkhalter: Security is none of your aff… What is this? I walk in here and a prisoner-of-war begins to question me! * Klink: No offense, Herr General! * Burkhalter: I want an estimate of your moving time as quickly as possible, or there will be an offense. Against you! (Marches out) * Hogan: Believe it now? He ducked every question and when I pressed him, he pulled rank. * Klink: Yes, yes. What is to be done? * Hogan: Well if I were you, I’d stall as much as you can. Burkhalter may change his mind or it could be changed for him. * Klink: You don’t know him. He is a mountain. * Hogan: That’s true. He ought to cut down on starches. * Klink: He is like a German eagle, dropping my eggs in the snow. This is terrible. * Hogan: Well that’s the way the big war bounces. (Hands him a pen with a grin on his face.) ---------------- After Hogan and his men have convinced Klink that there was oil under Stalag 13... * Hogan: What have you got in mind Kommandant? * Klink: After the war, a sign on the gate, and instead of Stalag 13, it reads: The Klink and Hogan Oil Company! * Hogan: I see your name comes first, Wilhelm? * Klink: Wilhelm? Aren’t you being a little familiar Hogan? * Hogan: I think partners should be. * Klink: (laughs) Yes, yes! Oh, you don’t know what this means to me. After the war, I won’t just have a 500-year old aristocratic name, but for the first time some money to go with it! (Laughs) I will be impossible! * Hogan: You’re doing all right now. Look I’d hate to shoot you down right over the target, but we have a problem. * Klink: What? * Hogan: If they go ahead and build on this site, they’re bound to find out about the oil and we’re dead. * Klink: What can we do? * Hogan: We should change the name of the front gate to read: The Burkhalter, Klink, Hogan Oil Company. * Klink: Who needs Burkhalter? * Hogan: We do! He’s got the power to leave Stalag 13 and our oil just the way it is! * Klink: Give him a piece of the pie? --------------- After Klink goes to his bed room and informs Burkhalter about the oil... * Klink: What about Herr Bowman and the new plant? * Burkhalter: I’ll have a talk with him tomorrow. I don’t think he’s going to be too hard to handle. * Klink: Oh, not for you, Herr General! The three of us are going to make a winning combination! * Burkhalter: The three of us? * Klink: Oh, yes! The Burkhalter, Klink, Hogan Oil Company. * Burkhalter: Hogan? Who needs Hogan? (pours himself a drink) * Klink: Well, you see… * Burkhalter: Go to bed Klink, before you give away any more shares of my company. Klink salutes and leaves. --------------- Klink picks up one of the leaflets that was dropped by the bombers... * Klink: To whom it may concern, today is a sample of what you’ll get if you build a plant at Stalag 13. Good Luck! * Burkhalter: Our security has been breached! Bowman, this finishes any plans for building here! * Bowman: Of course, but how did they find out? * Klink: I don’t know, but we did…wait a minute…Hoogan! * Burkhalter: Hogan! * Bowman: Hogan? * Hogan: Don’t look at me, I only work here! (Casually salutes Klink and walks off) Bloopers * Hogan and his men lives in Barracks 2, but a sign on the barracks says Barracks 3. But, in the background, it is actually Barracks 2. External links * Hogan's Heroes Fanclub * Webstalag 13 * The Hofbrau * TV.com Television stories Category:Season One